Pineapple Pizza Gone Even More Wrong
There are many critical existential questions in this life. What happens to us after we die? Are we alone in the universe? Is it okay to put pineapple on pizza? On this tropical topic, the world seems to fall into two camps; those who love pineapple on pizza and those who hate it with a passion. But this dude or dudette has taken their existential questioning that little bit further.
If you're one of those people who believe pineapple on pizza is just plain wrong, how does pizza on pineapple make you feel? Is it worse, or does it cancel the original abomination out? We're not sure.
Mom's Special Cake
At first glance, this is one ungodly massive caterpillar. But upon closer inspection, you'll soon see that this creepy critter is actually made of cake. Would you believe that this unlikely phenomenon––which took over the internet for a short time a couple of years ago––has become a TV game show? Yes, Netflix broadcasts a show called Is It Cake? in which contestants have to guess... well, you get the picture.
Cake or not, this is not something we'd bite into or even willingly look at if we encountered it at a birthday party!
Don't Play Possum With Your Food
At one stage or other of our childhood, all our moms told us not to play with our food as we pushed it around the plate. But this little weirdo noticed that a piece of broccoli on their plate looked like an opossum's face, so he (or she) did what any sensible kid would do with their dinner and sculpted the rest of their meal into a tiny little food opossum!
In addition to its broccoli head, the little critter has a body, limbs, and perfect tiny toes made from mashed potato and some unidentifiable meat for a tail. Our only complaint is if it were genuinely playing possum, it should be upside down with its adorable feet in the air!
Would You Like A Brownie With Your Brownie?
We're not sure which country this post comes from, but you've got to admit as an awareness-raising message, it takes the cake. This local bakery topped their brownies with poo-shaped frosting––complete with smiley faces––to raise awareness for colon cancer. All profits went to a colon cancer research charity. An important cause and we're sure they're delicious, sure, but imagine stuffing one of these in your face! Not the most appetizing look.
We wonder if these were handed out for free or if people were actually supposed to pay money for them. We're not sure we would!
Midnight Mac N' Cheese Munchies
Why on earth would this crafty cook waste a perfectly good steak (and wine) by mashing it up with some Kraft Mac n' Cheese? Their answer was, of course, drugs. They did the hard part, having the skills to expertly cook a medium steak in butter, garlic, and wine. Sounds delicious so far. It seems this is the juncture they paused to smoke some weed and it all went so, so wrong!
Then they ruined all their hard work, preparation, and dedication by smothering their steak in store bought Mac n' Cheese. The moral of the story? Don't do drugs, kids!
Welcome To Hell's Kitchen
We cross live now to our reporter Marjorie McBurnie who joins us from the Darvaza Gas Crater, a permanently-burning fiery pit known as the Gates of Hell in Turkmenistan. Oh, sorry; wrong meeting! These dumplings––which could be Chinese xiao long bao, Ukrainian vareniky, or Georgian khinkali––look like they've been cooked in an underworld kitchen by Hades himself! We just have one question... do you think they're cooked all the way through?
In addition to having to find something else to eat for tonight's dinner, this devilishly dedicated chef will have to buy a new pan.
Don't Give Up The Day Job
This so-called joke first came alive in the form of a text message. Someone (obviously male) decided to send their friend a picture of their new favorite food - but instead of spaghetti carbonara, they made spaghetti carbanana. Yes, they added sliced banana and some kids' toy cars to some pasta and thought they were a comedy genius. It may have been improved with an extra helping of carmesan cheese!
Their friend seemed to be used to this type of shenanigans and simply replied, "Never text me again." And can we add to that by saying, "Don't give up the day job"?
Some Very Chewie Bacon
How's this for a dad joke? This comedy genius shaped his bacon into the shape of everyone's favorite bow-cast-wielding Wookie co-pilot, Chewie from Star Wars. And it's actually pretty accurate, don't you think? This meat sculptor even took the time to create Chewbacca's bullet-belt hanging diagonally across his chest. It hardly looks edible anymore, but we do appreciate the imagination it took. Not to mention the boredom.
For their entree, they fashioned Jabba the Hutt out of mashed potato. For dessert, they probably made a little Yoda out of peas.
Poor Peppa Pig
Now this is cold hearted. Someone replaced this 500-piece Peppa Pig jigsaw puzzle with 500 bacon lardons. Not only did they scar their little sister's life (because, let's be honest, only a big brother could be capable of such wickedness!), but there's also a 99.9% chance they turned her into a vegetarian in one fell swoop. And she's not the only one - right now, many of us are probably wondering whether we'll eat pork ever again after this.
On a serious note, it's not just a case of poor Peppa Pig; it's poor planet earth. You can do your bit––millions of Peppa Pigs will be saved if plant-based meats become the norm.
Chicken In A Can
In 1795, French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte offered a prize for new ways to preserve food for the French army. Decades later, British merchant, Peter Durand, was granted a patent by King George III to use tinplated cans. But both Napolean and King George would have run a mile if they'd have seen this monstrosity! Sweet Sue's fully cooked chicken in a can (without giblets) wouldn't be out of place in an Alien film.
In fact, one of these bursting out of your space trucker colleague's chest might be even more disturbing than H.R. Giger's original horrific xenomorph design.
Does Anyone Else Wash the Chocolate off Their Kit-Kat?
Instead of Kit-Kat's traditional slogan, "Have a break, have a Kit-Kat," this is more Gimme A Break! Someone called Sophia felt the wrath of the company when she tweeted that she likes to wash the chocolate off Kit-Kats under running water from the faucet! In a hilarious social media marketing move, Kit-Kat's Twitter account immediately blocked her. It was only then that young Sophia realized how unreasonable she was being!
After being blocked, she immediately took to Twitter to ask her followers to explain the situation. You know what you did, Sophia, you messed with the rules of the universe, and now you must pay!
The Perfect Dish for Your Next House Party
There are some weird people out there, folks! This Justin Bieber superfan loves the Canadian superstar singer so much that they thought it would be a good idea to sculpt his face out of ground meat, raw bacon, and brown M&M's. Plus, are those their grandmother's dentures we see peeking out of the songster's mouth? We can only assume that they then worshiped this protein-based idol by sacrificing their Boyfriend at this Yummy meaty altar.
Well, we think it's Justin Bieber, but with that red face, it could equally be an Oompah Lumpah from the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!
They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To
If you're under the age of 50, you won't remember the 1970s. There was apparently much to love about the decade, the invention of punk, hip-hop, and disco music, sideburns, watching slasher movies on Betamax home video... the list goes on. But one thing to forget about the decade is the food. Here's a photo of a typical 1970s meal. Scroll down for a full recipe so you can enjoy this yummy meal yourself!
First, gather your cooked and shredded chicken, peas, onions, and carrots. Next, throw them all into aspic jelly. Refrigerate and serve to your guests with an extra side of aspic jelly.
Shoeshi Sushi
There are some crazy entries on today's list, but in addition to being goofy, this one is kinda clever. It must have taken some sushi skill, too! From left to right, we have a low-cut Nike sneaker, a Nike Air Jordan, and the classic Converse All-Star "Chucks" baseball shoe, all lovingly handcrafted in sushi rice, cucumber, seaweed, and salmon. The content creator has, of course, labeled their fun product "Shoeshi."
The internet is full of pointless and distracting things nowadays, but how would you feel if you were served this in a Japanese restaurant? We'd love a plate of this intricate Japanese footwear-based sushi.
When The Voices In Your Head Tell You To Bake
The poster of this photo says that baking has been speaking to him recently, but it seems baking isn't the only thing that's been talking to him. The voices from his nightmares also instructed him to bake this hellish cherry pie. It looks like something Freddie Krueger, Jason Voorhees, or Michael Myers would bake their mom for Halloween. For some reason, Freddie Krueger particularly likes cutting up cakes and pies.
As Just Dave points out in the comments section, maybe he should stop listening to the voices in his head! May we also recommend taking some baking lessons?
How's This For A Midnight Snack?
While you may think this is an extraordinary piece of bread, in actuality, it's just a regular piece of bread, but the loaf has been cut lengthways rather than the traditional sideways. Horizontally, not vertically... if that's the correct terminology. Just imagine being hungry (or hangry,) heading to the refrigerator at midnight, grabbing two pieces of bread like this smothering them in peanut butter and jelly. That would be heavenly!
Why anyone would slice their bread this way is a mystery to us. Honestly, it's a little upsetting to look at!
This Is What True Love Smells Like
Forget your diamond rings. Save your honeymoon in the Maldives. Wave goodbye to your sunsets in Santorini. You can keep your grand bouquets of flowers and all your traditional notions of romance. Nuggets and fries are what true love smells like, and this couple has something most people will never have and that money can never buy. They have an understanding. This might be all we can afford at the moment, but it won't always be like this. Good luck, you lovebirds!
A quote springs to mind for this couple's love: "For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible."
The Correct Amount Of Parmesan
According to whoever took this photo, this is the correct amount of parmesan cheese for your pasta. You know when the waiter grates it over your food, and you're like, "Yeah, yeah, keep it coming, boss!" If you love mountains and mountains of parmesan as much as we do, the poor waiting would be standing there grating cheese for at least three minutes. It may smell like vomit, but it tastes absolutely delicious!
It turns out we're not the only parmesan cheese lovers. Ben Lapidus sang a while song about getting the waiter to keep grating in a 2022 episode of America's Got Talent! That's dedication.
For the Pineapple Pizza Lover
This post deserves is so mind-boggling, it deserves its own TED Talk. This culinary anarchist asks you to forget everything you know and turns our world's upside down by putting pineapple on top of pizza-flavored Pringles. The only thing is, we can't work out if this is so right or so wrong! What do you make of it? Is pineapple on pizza-flavored Pringles seventh heaven or the eighth deadly sin?
The only thing we're one hundred percent sure of is that you better hurry and get them down your throats before they become a pineapple and pizza-flavored soggy cardboard mush!
Clown Faced Killer Meat
This photo comes from somewhere in the UK, judging from the 29 pence per 100 grams price. Where clowns are so super scary, they don't just invade our nightmares; they cross the realm from dreams into our deli counters. Can you imagine being the poor child that's confronted with this image? After watching Stephen King's It, they survive a killer clown attack in a dream and successfully make it to school the next day...
Sitting down at the dinner table, they open up their lunchbox to find Pennyworth the Clown has crawled from their dreams between two pieces of bread and into their sandwich. But after their first bite, you can bet they say, "This clown tastes funny!"
Breakfast... Finnish Style
Freezing temperatures and steely hearts give the men and women of Finland some huge cojones! Real Finns start their day with a breakfast called a Blörö. It consists of everything you need to get through a typical Scandinavian morning––piping hot black coffee, a shot of vodka, and a cigarette. If you insist on some protein in the morning, don't fret, you can add a delicious pickled herring to help get you through the day. Yum!
And if you think they're tough because of Viking blood, think again. It's all in the breakfast!
Stretchy Snack
When someone posted the nonsensical statement, "You cannot be a snack with stretch marks," this interwebs user didn't need words to make their point, they just responded with a photo. That photo was of everybody's childhood favorite snack, Little Debbie's Creme Pies. Swiftly choosing to ignore the obvious crass joke, it seems the responder is making complete sense. We never noticed as kids, but these cookie-pies definitely seem to have stretch marks!
Of course, the responder only noticed later in life when they were approaching their mid-30s. Could Little Debbie's Creme Pies have had babies? Is that the cause for this cookie-based cellulite?
The Correct Amount Of Ketchup
It's fact time, folks! First, this is the correct amount of ketchup for your fries. Science Fact. Second, did you know that McDonald's little ketchup cups are designed to fold out from a cup shape into a tiny plate? Third, but by no means least... did you know that the word ketchup first appeared in 1682? The English used to make mushroom ketchup before "Tomata Catsup" became the norm around 1817.
Thomas Jefferson had "potatoes served in the French manner" at a White House dinner in 1802. The expression "French fried potatoes" was first recorded in Cookery for Maids of All Work by E. Warren in 1856. Now you know!
Rare, Medium, Or Well Done?
How you like your steak is, apparently, the measure of a man. Traditionally, the less cooked you like it, the more of a man you are. Waiters are au fait with underdone options like raw, black and blue (that's burnt on the outside, raw in the middle) and bloody, but this customer must have asked for his steak still alive. Other customers' dinners were interrupted when the cow's moos reverberated around the restaurant.
Would you believe that this here slab of bleeding, pink raw meat, some twice-cooked fries, and a quarter of a shredded carrot cost a whopping $50?
Trick Or Treat?
Now, you may think these Pumpkin Delights make for a great gift for kids who are trick or treating around your neighborhood on Halloween. Well, they may have made great gifts... before they died a horrible death. They were meant to be smiling, but that was before they were individually wrapped in plastic. However, as soon as the poor things were suffocated to death, those smiles turned upside down and became frowns.
Have these poor cookies melted in an autumnal heatwave, or were they caught mid-scream in their final death throes slowly baking in the oven?
The Real Thing
Those tough-as-steel Finns have it too easy. Real men don't need coffee, a shot of vodka, and a cigarette to get them going in the morning. No, real men just flop out of bed, walk naked to their nearest vending machine, pop in their hard-earned money, press the combination, and out pops all they need for breakfast. Which consists of a big bottle of full-fat Coca-Cola and one single cigarette.
Yes folks, for the special discount price of just five dollars, you too can arrive at work looking like you slept in a stranger's bed. Because let's face it, if you're taking this combo deal, there's no way you made it home last night!
You're Talking Baloney
Yes, you too, can make this fun sandwich at home! All you need is two slices of bread, some baloney, some lettuce, and what looks like squeezy cheese! This sandwich is so good; it's not lip-smacking... it's cheek-slapping! First, place your lettuce on the bread, and add two rounds of baloney to make your butt cheeks enveloped by green underwear. That's your first half of the sandwich completed. Well done, you!
With your squeezy cheese, draw a hand on the second piece of bread. Slap them together as hard as you can, et voila... you have just made the world's cheekiest sandwich.
Give This Man A Medal
Pineapple on pizzas might be bad enough, but what would you do if someone served you up a twelve-incher with peas and mayonnaise as a topping? Would you throw it at them? Because that's the right thing to do. Emo Dad was so offended by this catastrophe that he urged both pineapple-on-pizza lovers and haters to unite to overcome their differences and come together as one to defeat this evil.
In years to come, Emo Dad will be seen as a uniting hero. The Patron Saint of Pizza Toppings. The Spartacus of sandwiches. The Paul Revere of pasta. The Simón Bolívar of liver. The Zorro of Zucchini. The Neo of Neopolitan Ice Cream. We could go on, but for your sake, we'll stop there...
As Tough As Old Boots
We've all heard someone––probably your gran––describe meat as being as tough as old boots, right? Well, this chef took the phrase literally and somehow managed to shape their steak into the perfect shape of a shoe. Does that make them a steak chef or a shoemaker? Or maybe someone cooked it as a Valentine's Day dinner for their cobbler husband or wife? If so, what a thoughtful gift. There's just one problem...
There's only seen, yes, seven fries. Okay, they might be European-style thick-cut chunk 'chips,' but this chef's frugal portion of potatoes is enough to ruin anyone's Valentine's Night.. and the rest of February and March.
The Burger That Smiles Back
While we'd love to report that one unlucky customer bit into a burger only to be greeted by a set of false teeth, that would most likely be a gross misrepresentation of the truth. What we think must have really happened is that some joker took out their pearly white dentures and placed them inside this underwhelming bun as a gag. And it definitely makes us gag... in a wrenching kind of way.
The only thing worse than this burger bun smiling back at you would be if it started up a conversation. Imagine it telling you to make sure you tipped your waiter or said: "I wish I looked after my teeth!"
What Type Of Cone Would You Like?
Next time you treat yourself to ice cream, be prepared for when the vendor asks you what kind of cone you'd like. While traditionally, there have only been three answers - wafer, sugar, or waffle, let it be known from this day forth that there is a fourth kind of cone. A pine cone. Yes, it might make every ice cream flavor taste like cough medicine, but look at the size of the thing!
And the best part is, you get six extra inches of cone, a shredded tongue from licking between those pine needles, and it doesn't cost you an extra dollar like the waffle cone. You're welcome!
Breaking Brownie
This amateur baker tried to copy a recipe to make an M&M brownie. However, by their own admission, the result looked more like "a before and after picture of meth addiction." We kind of agree but will go a step further. Their pitiful attempt resembles a crystal meth addict who didn't pay their dealer––Breaking Bad's Walter White––and ended up dead as a dodo, lying in the gutter riddled with technicolor bullet holes.
The secret is not to nuke the brownie like this example and to only add the M&Ms five minutes after the brownie comes out of the oven. This way, you don't melt the M&M shells. You're welcome.
Would Sir Like To Sample The Local Delicacy?
People travel the world for many different reasons. Some travel to broaden their minds and to soak up other cultures, history, architecture, scenery, local cuisine, and art. But this person wasn't interested in any of that malarkey. So when the Pizza Americana jumped off the page of a Slovakian menu, that's exactly what they wanted. But when the giant pizza arrived, the only American thing about it was it had been smothered with fries!
What were they expecting from an American pizza? Roasted bald eagle and apple pie arranged in a stars and stripes pattern while the waiter sings Bryan Adams' Summer of '69? And before you comment, we know Bryan Adams is Canadian, but this Slovakian restaurant doesn't!
The Future Is Bright Orange
This chap or chappess got trashed and needed some food in a hurry. But there wasn't much food in the house, so they created Orange Chicken Dino Nuggets! We can't give you the exact recipe, but it looks like some cooked dino nuggets with an orange sauce. They may have been out of their tiny mind, but they had the culinary skills to top the makeshift dish off with scallions and sesame seeds.
We're not trashed, and this article is supposed to be about gross foods, but we think this midnight dish looks so damned tasty that it may catch on. The future is bright.. the future is Orange Chicken Dino Nuggets.
Close Encounters Of The Mash Potato Kind
In the 1970s, Stephen Spielberg's underrated sci-fi film Close Encounters of the Third Kind saw a kid sculpt a mountain out of his mashed potato. Don't all scream "We've all done that" at once! But this imaginative kid took it a step further by creating a volcano out of their mashed potato. And not only that, the volcano is realistic; it has a caldera and spews forth molten lava made from baked beans...
Their dinosaur nuggets and broccoli trees also stand on a bed of mash. Mom was fine until clumps of fist-sized ketchup-smeared mashed potato balls started raining down like fiery asteroids, wiping out the dinosaurs and her kitchen!
Thank Heavens For Food Banks
This plate of food might not be much to look at, but the person who's about to sit down and eat it is grateful. This dish of Bird's Eye Potato Waffles, spaghetti hoops, broccoli, and carrots all came free of charge from a UK food bank. Too many people in the world's fifth-richest country have to rely on food banks to survive, and it's not just those who are unemployed; many low-salary workers must rely on them, too.
In 2010, 40,000 UK citizens used food banks. By 2022, over 2.17 million Brits relied on charitable donations to eat, and there are currently more food banks than McDonald's. The rich get richer while the poor get poorer.
Anyone Else Here On A Forced Diet Until Payday?
Meanwhile, across the pond, millions of Americans also have to tighten their belts as they wait for their paycheck at the end of every month. But this person––who is forced to diet for two weeks out of every month––has come up with a neat money-saving, life-saving tip. They get rid of their hunger pangs by subsisting on cheap hot dog and pickle grilled cheese sandwiches until their wages hit their bank account.
Truth be told, their hot dog and pickle grilled cheese sandwich doesn't look too bad at all. A tiny bit overcooked for our liking, but other than that, it looks yummy! It seems all this writing about food is making us a little hungry.
Licorice Pizza 2: Licorice Egg
You've heard of the movie Licorice Pizza? Well, here's the sequel. This person found a cookbook their brother wrote back when he was a 7-year-old. So, to prove their sibling was deranged, they did what any brother or sister would do; they lovingly recreated their sibling's recipes, starting with "Licorice Egg." To recreate this recipe yourself, you will need two medium-sized eggs and some licorice. But what about the chocolate and candies? Why isn't it called "Licorice, Chocolate, Candy, and Egg?"
Well, the author of the cookbook specified that the chocolate and candies are not important enough to form part of the unusual dish's name, and are for decoration only.
Spider-Man: Into The SpiderCake
On the topic of movie sequels... here's our idea for Spider-Man: Into The SpiderCake. Remember when Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man stopped that train from falling off the tracks? How about when Tom Holland's Peter Parker held two halves of a ferry together? Well, that's nothing compared to what this webslinger is doing when you take into account his comparative size. The two-inch Spidey figurine is using his superpowers to hold this kid's birthday cake together and, in doing so, is stopping it from melting into the multiverse.
This tiny Peter Parker (or is it Miles Morales under that mask?) just about saved this birthday cake from becoming one of those infamous cake wrecks.
Bagel Bite And Chicken Nugget Slider
Perhaps all this talk of food is making us hungry and affecting our decision-making, but this Bagel Bite and chicken nugget slider looks quite tasty right now. That's a sentence we never thought we'd write! But, seriously, there's not too much going wrong here, is there? If you don't already know, Bagel Bites frozen mini pizzas manufacturers probably won't mind us saying they don't set the culinary world on fire. Until...
Until, that is, you slap a chicken nugget betwixt two of them to create a tiny taste explosion that will blow your mind and have you reaching for another and another and another! Yup, we can confirm that we're too hungry and our brains have been compromised... must... eat.... now...